So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize