ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I checked into jail on foursquare
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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