wrigley field is MILF paradise
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
