I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
