how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
