and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
