I didn't shave. On purpose
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
