Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
