I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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