She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
