All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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