1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
