don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
