never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
