Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
