Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this just has baby written all over it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
