whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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