my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
