woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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