i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
