Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
