I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
