Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
