just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
