I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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