i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Come on in and take your pants off
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