Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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