PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So squirting runs in the family.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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