Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
