i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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