DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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