My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
