he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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