There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
