I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize