My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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