My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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