I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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