your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This girl is more easily done than said...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
