Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
