That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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