You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just cropdusted the office
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
