i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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