ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
