The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
