i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
