i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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