Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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