You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
