OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
