I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
