well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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