I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
