I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
