WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
