Sponge bath it is.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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