i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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