Its about making memories worth repressing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
