how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
