I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
