It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
