are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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