I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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