I'm really into asian looking animals
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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